Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
