it hurts more in the daytime
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
