During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
