I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
