I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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