Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
