at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
