All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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