Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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