brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
