i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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