I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
