Pappa wants mamma naked
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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