I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
