So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize