Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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