I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize