all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
