Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
