I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i believe in u and ur pee
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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