It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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