i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
