he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
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