hotel room ftw
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize