if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize