hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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