Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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