I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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