can we get nightvision for the apartment?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
