A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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