yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
