you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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