he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
