I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
