I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
