Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
