I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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