is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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