eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
