My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
