so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
