Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
