He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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