i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
