I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have fence marks all over my body
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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