dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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