i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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