Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
