I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm too high and old for this...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
