it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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