Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
