I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
