I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
