i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
