If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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