I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
