she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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