Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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