idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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