i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
