Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
