By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
