So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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