dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
