What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
