grandma shit on top of the toilet
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
