He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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